Courage

I wish that I was one of those adventurous people who have the confidence and courage to move to a new city and start a new life. When I graduated from college, I admired my friends and peers who decided to pack their bags and move to New York City to start their careers. Even though they had no friends, no job, and no clue of what they would do when they arrived, they didn't give into fear. They followed their hearts and knew that they would find a job and make a life in their new city.

When I graduated from college, I made the practical, safe choice and moved back home to live with my mom. Home was where I felt safe and secure. I have always been a shy, self-conscious girl who always follows the rules and consistently does what is expected.

Now I wish I would have taken bigger risks and planned my life based on what I was interested in, rather than what was the safe or practical thing to do. I would have spread my wings and moved to a different city where I had no friends and no idea of what career to pursue. I would apply for jobs that seemed like a stretch for my skills, such as becoming a journalist or magazine editor. It wouldn't matter where I started, if I worked hard and enjoyed the experience, I would end up somewhere great.

Maybe if I would have taken that leap of faith and moved to a new city, I would have gained self confidence, self-assurance, and trust - trust in myself that I can make it by following my heart. Perhaps I would not over-analyze everything that happens because I will have learned that everything will work out in time. Maybe I would not still feel like that shy, self-conscious little girl that is too afraid to venture far from home and step outside the box.

I know that it is never to late to change. It is never to late to pack my bags and move to a new city to start over, to re-invent myself. Where would I go? What would I do when I got there? The possibilities are endless and overwhelming. All I know for sure is that I need to start stretching myself to try things that seem scary and impractical because I want to gain confidence in my abilities and to learn to trust my instincts. To trust that I can make it in this world on my own by living for the experience, even if it means doing what seems impractical.