I have to make a decision about a job opportunity tomorrow and I am filled with mixed emotions and anxiety. I have this strong urge in my gut that resists this job, telling me to "just say no". When I think rationally about the job, it has many possibilities. I really liked the person I would work for, the area within the company is growing, and there would be a lot of opportunities to learn and make an impact. However, the area is also very chaotic and facing too many demands right now.
Why do I feel such an intense aversion to accepting this job? This opportunity came quickly and easily. I do not feel ready to make a decision. I am afraid to say "no" and listen to my gut, when this job could turn out to be a pleasant surprise. I am also afraid to say "yes" and start working in an environment that is very stressful and chaotic, when I crave a simple, lower stress job that I do not have to take home at the end of the day. I need to keep balance in my life right now.
Do I want this job or is there something better out there waiting for me? Why can't I feel excitement about this opportunity? It feels so good to be wanted and appreciated for who I am and I have a hard time saying "no" to something that could be just what I need right now. I do not want to let my fear hold me back. I wish I could feel calm and comfortable with one decision or the other inside. I wish I had more clarity.
Tomorrow I need to say "yes" or "no". There is no wrong decision, each will lead me in a different direction. What is the right decision for me right now? I will tuck this decision in the back of my mind and hope that I will wake up tomorrow morning and know with certainty what answer is right for me. Whatever direction I choose to walk in, I will not look back or second guess. I will make the most of the experience and hope that it is a pleasant surprise.
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