Back to Reality

I am back in Minnesota and my escape to the paradise of Florida is over. It is time to face my new reality and facing one of my fears – finding a new job, redefining my purpose. Once again, I am filled with mixed emotions – pain, fear, sadness, loss.

Florida was filled with warmth, vibrant colors, and happy sunshine. When I walked outside the warm humid air wrapped around me like a blanket embracing me with comfort and joy. Each morning I went for an energizing power walk on the beach and admired the peaceful “snowbirds” and vacationers strolling along the shore gazing at the ocean and picking up seashells. Everyone seemed so carefree and relaxed; truly savoring the moment basking in the sun while reading a juicy novel, gossiping with friends, or playing with the kids in the pool. I felt like I was on a sabbatical and taking time to recharge my batteries before heading back to my career in Minnesota.

As my days in Florida came to an end, I desperately wished I could find a way to join the retired snowbirds in their lives filled with daily beach walks, tennis, golf, and cocktails by the pool. But, would Naples, FL still feel so peaceful and happy if I had a regular 9-to-5 job that consumed my days? Or, is it so peaceful because it provides a break from a daily life filled with demands and responsibilities?

When I stepped off the airplane into the Minnesota air, the grey skies and bitter cold brought me back to reality. The brown foliage is a stark contrast to the bright greens, pinks, and yellows that painted the Florida scenery.

Perhaps Minnesota represents how I feel inside right now and what lies ahead for me. I feel as if my past self defined by spreadsheets, numbers, and financial results is dead and gone, like the brown trees and grass left over from last summer. I feel like I lost my purpose and sense of direction. Where do I turn from here in order to find my next job and my new purpose?

The end of winter brings a transition period and the birth of spring. The trees, flowers, birds, and rabbits blossom into new life as the sun warms the air. Soon, Minnesota will be filled with vibrant colors and the sounds of baby robins. Slowly, people will emerge from hibernation, shed their winter parkas and get outside to run, walk, bike, and play.

Perhaps just as new life emerges in the spring, my new purpose and job will come to life. Maybe I will be able to find that job that will give me balance, variety, direction, creativity, and the ability to learn and help others grow. The tears and fear I feel inside will soon disappear and a calm, content, and energized heart will emerge.